I'm Tylzy. If you could look up at the top, I'd hope you'd be able to figure out where the 1st half of that name comes from. The 2nd half, however, comes from one of my online aliases "Cozy". I know you're asking "Yo! Tyler! "Cozy" is a pretty sick name, why'd you change it?!" And my answer to that is: "Cozy" SOMEHOW is a very common name, at least in terms of internet aliases, so I figured I should save the trouble of having 50 billion account names and just switch it to be a combo of my first name and alias. Overall I'd say it turned out to be a cool nickname.
Anyway! Let's get to what everyone is dying to read about: Anime, Gaming, and most of all, about me: Tyler!
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| Young Tyler looking pretty baller |
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| Book I referenced a great amount for tips as a kid |
Gaming has a similar story. Ever since I can remember, I've been gaming, mostly console when I was younger and slowly migrating towards computer and competitive gaming. The first interaction with gaming that me and my family had was when my Grandma got one of those old Gameboys. The huge clunky ones that were "so cool!" and "hip!".
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| Remember me? |
And because my Grandma took care of my brother and I pretty often while my parents were at work or school, she let us play with it. Of course, when we first played with this, our whole world was turned upside down. "You can play with something like this and have this much fun?!" It was an entirely new concept to us and it was fascinating. Something new, something unique to our generation. My brother and I had to have it. So without much convincing, my parents bought a Gameboy Pocket (the smaller, but still in black and white version) for both my brother and I. That hand-held single-handedly (or...double-handedly) started the flame in my heart for my love of video-gaming. Each time a new system was released, we bought it, along with a vast number of games. With most of my childhood being in the Gamecube "era" I would have to say it's my favorite console of all time. There are countless classics that I remember as a child and it's one of those timeless memories that no other gaming console has done for me. Games like Super Smash Bros. Melee, Metroid Prime (1 and 2), Pikmin 2, Animal Crossing, Kirby AirRide, Paper Mario and the Thousand Year Door, Super Mario Sunshine, Tales of Symphonia, Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker. So many good games and memories.
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| Best console NA |
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| Just some young hustlers being hustlers Erik on the left, myself on the right. |
Immediately after looking at the clock, we rush out the door and sprint downhill to the bus stop and as we arrive, I look down the road and see the bus quite a ways away. I instantly burst into tears, my mind melting into a bubbling mess. I can't form coherent sentences to save my life. My friend who is accompanying me, Erik, decides to try to calm me down, as he was a much more relaxed kid than I. "It's not a big deal, dude. Do you want to see if your parents are still home?" He asks. I agree, but am very skeptical that they'll be home, because they always leave by 7:30 or 7:45 and by the time I'm at the door of my family's apartment it's already 7:50. I walk into my house crying and crying, thank god my mom is home to calm me down. She promptly drives us both to school and we carry on with our day. A simple and easy fix, nothing worth sobbing about. Just another day in the life of Erik and Tyler. A video gaming story at its finest.
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| Tyler Age: 17 Longer hair swag, eating with family |
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| Tyler (in the middle if you couldn't tell by now): Age 18 Prom picture with friends and South Korean foreign exchange student |
Looking back on some of these stories, it seems a little ridiculous, and it strikes me as incredible how much I've changed over the years. It's amazing how over the years your looks change (as dumb as this sounds, I still find it really odd how much older I look) and how my views on certain subjects have changed or remained the same. I'm going to be 19 coming this April, and am currently rooming with a kid from Chicago in my community college's apartments. Life is pretty confusing, going straight from High School to college after all. Although after this semester, I'll be moving back out west (living in Iowa at the moment, I guess that's an important fact to state) to Washington where I'll be rooming in an apartment with my good friend: Erik.
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| Tyler: Age 18 (taken today) In room writing a blog entry |
So join me on the journey to find some happiness in life. Take a seat, grab some coffee, watch some anime, play some video games, and enjoy the ride. I know I will.
I had such a similar experience as a child, its funny. Instead of missing the bus to school, I missed my bus stop on the way home because it was the last day of school and everyone was excited. After the bus driver realized it and had to go back I got off and was crying as people were waiting for me. I must of been really sensitive as a child, I'm not sure.
ReplyDeleteI find your outlook on school interesting. I'm still in high school atm, and I'm not particularly challenged in school, I just don't put in much effort if any at all and somehow manage to still get B's which look good enough to my parents so they don't bother me.
I have to apply to colleges soon, and I don't think my parents would be particularly fond of the idea of not going to college. Personally, education isn't just uninteresting, its a huge and constant stress. In fact while I'm enjoying writing this right now, I know that if I had to do something like this for school I'd be hating it, and probably avoiding it as much as I can. Money doesn't really matter a whole lot to me. As long as I have enough to live and not be living off of someone else I'd be okay as far as I'm concerned.
I'm incredibly shy, but also incredibly introverted, so while I get nervous around a lot of people, I also just prefer being able to think to myself. I don't really like the idea of having to live on campus if I go to some university and constantly be around people. School is already too much time around people imo.
I have quite a weird relationship with anime. Of course I watched the typical things like pokemon and yugioh as a kid, I also remember my friend at the time was really into manga and tried to get me to draw such things with him. I wasn't good at anything like that, and I'm still not artistic in any form, but I do certainly like appreciating art. It wasn't until like a year or two ago that I really got into anime, and I can honestly say its changed my life is some weird ways, not necessarily for the better. Basically me discovering anime was me discovering the entire world of otaku, other people just like me who would rather keep to themselves and live in another world of anime where there's no stresses constantly bothering you. I started using anime as a form as escapism, and now I can't stop. After every day, all I have to look forward to is being able to watch some more anime and forget about everything that happened that day. This pretty much led to a downward spiral in my life. I became super depressed, I don't really talk to any of my friends anymore, spend all of my time not at school either playing games, browsing /a/, or watching anime, and I stopped caring about my grades in general.
How simply watching cartoons could do that to me? I really don't know, but I mostly blame anime like ef a tale of melodies, clannad and 5cm per second for completely changing my outlook on life to something that's just not worthwhile. I'd never experienced stories like them before, in any medium. In real life, I feel no emotions. I've had close people I know die and I never felt any grief or sadness, yet I watched clannad and cried like a baby. Maybe I can't stop watching sad anime because its the only way I can actually feel sadness.
Well, I came here to just post something I thought of while reading your blog, and this somehow turned into my life story. Sort of felt good to write it out though.
Wow, this sounds exactly like I used to be in high school. It's almost unbelievable. Hopefully I can provide some insight:
DeleteI believe talking through things with your parents could help a tremendous amount. My parents, whenever I was angry, or looked sad, would always force me to talk with them. They'd come into my room and just sit on my bed while I browse the internet (or whatever I might be doing), and just ask questions here and there. However, it doesn't seem like your parents are picking up these signals that you're unhappy, or escaping from reality, so you might need to initiate something. As difficult as that seems, I know. Just letting them know what you're thinking could definitely be of some help to them, and to yourself as well. Talking to them about college and your feelings on that included. I wouldn't put this to the side/disregard it. Having your parents understand you, and be able to be by your side is incredibly important, especially during teenage years.
Just recently I've started to come to terms with who I am. Anime, gaming, everything that interests me included. I always say to myself "focus on me first, then everyone else." simply meaning you have to focus on coming to terms with yourself first - who you are. Once you understand yourself, other people can start to understand you too.
I also don't think it's something that watching cartoons has done TO you, it's something that cartoons has done FOR you. It has provided a way to release these emotions which are a direct reaction to something else in your life. It's given you a way to feel other emotions that may have been bottled up elsewhere, where your body is unsure of how to use it. I would suggest writing or thinking deeply to yourself, with a journal or not, some afternoon. Ask yourself "Why am I bottling these emotions? Why am I unhappy? Is it okay to be unhappy? Why am I escaping from reality? Am I escaping from someone or something?" I think these questions are really important to think on. Try to think about what you want to change about yourself (it doesn't sound like you're very happy with your life, I could be wrong), figure out why you're that way, and do everything you can to change it. If you're shy, go ahead and get out of your comfort zone, ask some friends to hang out. Maybe there's a concert near you that sounds interesting, try going to it. Doesn't have to be with friends, you can go by yourself too. Maybe if you're not that bold at first, try some other things: getting a part time job or maybe attend an anime convention. Either way, all this has to do with is leaving your comfort zone. This is the 2nd point I want to make; the 1st being coming to terms with yourself. Getting out of your comfort zone is great. It might make you nervous, yeah, but you'll also see or do some really cool things.
Anyway, I hope I could help some with your situation. Good to hear from you. Maybe you should try writing your thoughts down more often if it felt that good :)